Peace Like a River

Recently I shared a clip of my grandmother, Sandra Meyers (Mimi), beautifully playing "Amazing Grace" on the piano at her memory care home. I received several messages and questions, so I wanted to share a little about her and her music.

Mimi and Papa were high school sweethearts in Fort Cobb, Oklahoma. They married in 1962. Papa wasn't quite 18 yet, so they had to have their ceremony in Texas. Papa worked summers at the Southwestern Company selling books door to door to pay the bills while attending college at Oklahoma State University. Each summer took the Meyers family to a new state, and Papa began to flourish as a salesman. Through the Southwestern Company. he met Spencer Hayes who hired him after graduation to the newly founded company, Tom James. It was then that the Meyers moved to Atlanta, Georgia. Papa stayed at Tom James until he retired over 40 years later.

During that time, Mimi raised three kids, took care of the household, and served in the community and church. One of the ways she served was through her music. She played the piano for the church for many years and even taught lessons. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who loves music like she does. Usually she favored playing and listening to hymns, but she also loved classical music and opera. She encouraged her girls and many of her grandgirls to learn to play the piano. I took lessons throughout elementary school and had the privilege of playing duets with Mimi at a couple of my recitals. She would sit with me and encourage me while I practiced when she would come to visit. I would often create my own recitals for her and Papa. When Mimi was diagnosed with dementia when I was in middle school, she began to play the piano more and more.

Most of you have probably seen "The Notebook". There is a scene where the main character, Allie, is playing the piano in her memory care home. She is shocked to learn that she can read music, so she looks at the music pages and begins to play. She effortlessly makes her way through the song until she reaches the bottom of the page. No one is there to turn the page for her, and she begins to play another classical song from her memory. While not a shock to her optimistic husband, the nurses are amazed.

Mimi's talent is a lot like that. She's forgotten so much, but still knows that she loves playing piano. Not only can she read the music on the pages, she adds notes and chords to make the song even better. And yes, she still plays many songs by memory. While she may not be able to tell you who exactly "Catherine Wilfong" is, she will play "Amazing Grace" for you if you ask her to. And to me, that is the most remarkable thing. Not only can she still beautifully play the piano and recall songs by memory, but she can play some hymns by name. Mimi still knows I'm her family, but I'd be surprised if she could come up with my name. How sweet it is to know that the songs of her Savior are engraved on her heart and not just her mind.

Mimi has entered a new season of her dementia where she gets confused between her thoughts and what's playing out in reality. She thinks the songs running through her mind are playing over speakers out loud. When I visited her last week, we walked through the halls, and she told me over and over how much she loved the song that was playing. The halls were quiet. Mom asked her what song was playing, and Mimi replied "Peace Like a River". She hummed and sung it softly as we went along.

Dementia is a cruel and vicious disease.

Dementia steals your mind. It steals your precious memories. It steals your personality. It steals your emotional control.  It steals your physical body. I've watched both of my grandmothers walk very different journeys with dementia. I've watched them forget time, words, people, places, memories, and skills.  I've watched them forget my name and the names of people I love. And I know that eventually they will forget me all together. 

But throughout the journey and all that has been forgotten, they still remember Jesus. They still remember Jesus, and they still know His love. While I slowly watch dementia steal away my grandmothers, I see more and more of Jesus. There are little miracles He gives us to let us know He's still there while we watch the ones we love slowly fade away.

Jesus is in the spark of life that enters their eyes when you know they understand the stories you tell. He's in the joy they get over the little things. He's in the laughter and the giddiness that the illness can bring. He's in the comfort they find in you. He's in the certainty they have about where they're going when they pass. He's in the people who care for them. He's there in the humor we find from funny things they say and do. He's in the little miracles that defy the logic of the illness. Dementia brings a lot of darkness and a lot of sadness, but Jesus is there in the midst.

My heart was comforted last week as I listened to Mimi sing "Peace Like a River" softly over and over. She's lost so much, but what she's been left with are the sweet melodies that have strengthened her faith and comforted her throughout her life. Mimi's mind is at peace despite the disease that's destroying it. There is so much in life that seems unfair and cruel. The hardest questions for us to let go of are those that start with "Why". Ironically, I was the one who needed comfort and reassurance during my visit with Mimi in memory care. While I'm caught up in so much worry, she's caught up in the hymns running through her mind. Jesus used her to remind me that our hope and joy comes from Him no matter what is lost here on earth. He will keep His promise to give those who seek Him peace and comfort. All that is lost here on earth will be restored in heaven. I left with a full heart and with peace like a river continually reminding me that my grandmother is in God's care.